Start vs Restart

For me, a variety of things has a journey that consists a start and an endpoint; humans have a beginning when they are born and a finish when they die, and many nonliving objects have the same path. Their functional cycle commences when they are manufactured and stops when they are broken. Some of the defective stuff can be repaired so it can be used for a long time, but it would not be as good as if they were new.

Running also follows almost a similar path with a slight difference, which is the concept of a restart. When I started running a few years ago, my running was neither fun nor pleasant, so I had to take a break shortly after I start, then Restart the same run. Gradually, I noticed that my break time got shorter and my running distance became longer, and that was a progress. Although there is a restart “button” in running, I do not get the same experience each time.

Coincidence

Premonition

This is my first time to recognize this word, premonition. I think I will be able to use this word in this post, and I hope I use it correctly.
I sometimes have premonitions that things may happen, and in many instances, I cannot describe what and how they will happen, but I can feel them. These warnings can be sensed by different forms of feeling such as: being uncomfortable or having heaviness in my chest or even scared.

In 2003, Saddam Hussein was on the loose after the US invade Iraq, and the US army was trying to capture him which occurred on the 13th of December. It was a big deal for the nation to witness a dictator in a miserable situation. We thought that he was an invisible monster that no one would find him.

He must be smart to some extent to be able to exploit a country for 35 years.
It was daytime when I felt uncomfortable all of sudden with no prior triggers; I was also scared. I kept that feeling for myself and tried to ignore it for a few hours, but my vigilant mother noticed that I was acting weird. My mom asked if everything was all right with me; that question was my motive to open up and tell her what I was holding. I expressed to her that a big thing was about to happen. She kept questioning me if I had some bad dreams the night before or if I was sick; My answer to her inquiries was simply no. At that moment, my mother became concerned and kept an eye on me just in case.
A Few hours later, there was a breaking news on TV. I don’t remember the headlines but all the news channels were talking about Saddam’s capture; it was shocking.
I felt good after this because nothing dangerous happened to my family and friends.

Yoga vs Run

People volunteer their time and effort for different causes and agencies in their communities, and I have been volunteering for one of the local non-profit organization for more than one year now. Last night, I had a volunteer meeting for that agency, and the coordinator was a professional yoga instructor, who decided to do a brief yoga session to help us to relax before we start the meeting.
I have not practiced yoga before because I am just not into yoga. I may change my mind if I do it regularly over a period of time, but for now, I am not into yoga. I totally understand the benefits of incorporating yoga into a runner’s life. During yoga, we follow the instructions in a comfortable environment. One of these directions was that to recall a peaceful moment from our life and focus on that moment. I tried to have a pleasant moment but I could not, seriously. That does not mean that I had a bad childhood or awful life. While the instructor gave more guidance about her yoga world, I got lost in my world. Why was it hard for me to bring a peaceful moment?
My Assay for what happened was that running was my tool of converting my stress and negativity into necessary fuel to operate my muscles and joints as a machine that generates positive vibes in my world, and my body would absorb that positivity to keep me going throughout the day. My run was mainly based on bringing up a painful memory or situation and try to erase it from my mind in a healthful way.
Because I have adapted running as a lifestyle, I have found that it would be hard for me to shift my focus from destroying a painful memory to nurturing a peaceful one, but that is just me.

Running Compromise

Compromise

I usually propose and set goals to achieve on a daily basis, however; I sometimes cannot keep up with my plans for many reasons; unexpected incidents, poor schedule planning, or mood changes.

Today, I established a goal of running for three miles in less than 23 minutes. I knew that I had to go out for a run, otherwise, I would be grumpy all day. Today’s weather was rainy and chilly, but, overall, it felt okay. Within a few minutes after I started, I just felt that I did not have the energy to keep going, so I went back to my home blaming myself for the poor performance.

While Physically sitting on my recliner chair watching TV, I was zoning out with my thoughts, so I made a Compromise with myself that I would run for three miles with no time limit. I rushed putting my gear on and went out before the sunset, I ran for almost four miles in 35 minutes, which was not my dream goal but it helped me to reset my mood.

If I had not made an agreement with myself regarding my workout, I would not be able to write this blog post.

Full Crazy – Part III

I drove to Richmond to spend the night where the marathon would be held. The hotel that I stayed at was nice and neat. After checking in, I went to my room and started my carb-loading process by eating almost everything I had, such as bread and potato. But unfortunately, I felt nauseated with unexpected loose bowel motions. I was concerned because I was losing electrolytes which would not optimize my performance for tomorrow.
I started hydrating myself with water but I needed to replenish the electrolytes that my body had lost. Part of my running package was six calorie-gel packets that were supplemented with caffeine and electrolytes, so I decided to have one of these gels. Shortly after I took one, my body felt warmer and my heart started pounding faster and harder; then, I realized that the caffeine had kicked in and its effects were more prominent than I expected.
I thought the effects would wear off after a while, but they did not; so I became more nervous and anxious. I went to bed at nine-ish so I could get up early and travel to the race site, but I could not fall asleep because of the calorie gel and my nervousness. I do not even remember closing my eyes, and I know I did not get enough sleep. I even snoozed my clock before 5 AM which was the time that I set the alarm clock for.
I got up and put on my running gear; the most exciting thing about my gear was the sports bra, which for me, was the most effective method to avoid chaffing. I went to the hotel lobby to have my light breakfast, and went back to my room to do some stretches to warm up; It was like 25 F outside.
I packed my stuff and checked out at the front desk. I drove to the race site and parked where I was supposed to; I was walking to the start line by following the crowd; there were so many people coming from different streets from every direction. I got distracted for a second on where the start line should be, so I asked a young guy who was walking by me, and his reply was that he did not know where to go but we would follow the crowd. I had a running conversation with the guy, for whom this marathon would be his third. We warmed up together by having short runs. At the start line, the guy told me that we could start together at a slow pace but he would speed up shortly after we start, and I said that would work for me.

The race started and the cheers went louder. I ran at a slow pace and tried to maintain it till the end. It was my first marathon so my goal was to reach the finish line and not to achieve an incredible personal record. Gradually, the guy started disappearing in the horizon after two or three miles.
Throughout the race, I saw many runners passing me but I kept my cool by focusing on the fact that I was doing this for fun –
and it SHOULD be fun – so I started paying more attention to the cheerful crowds and their motivating signs, natural scenes, and beautiful music; at some point in the race, I took short pauses to dance.
Everything went well. I did not feel any pain or discomfort which could have been because of the cold weather. At the mile of 23, I felt exhausted suddenly and saw many runners suffering from muscle spasm, and many of them had to walk while others had to stop running altogether. I slowed down and kept moving because I felt that moment was the time to prove to myself that I could do this after almost three months of training.
Amid that struggle, there were a few people offering small cups of pickle juice to runners; my understanding was that pickle juice could help to lessen your muscle cramps, so I had one. I did not really know if it was the juice itself or just a placebo effect, but I was able to boost my run for one extra mile.
At mile 24, I was not really motivated to keep going and I thought of giving up by walking the remaining two miles. Then, an idea came up to my mind which was asking my self the following question,”How you feel, Bear*?” This was a question that my Krav Maga instructor asked us in class, and the answer would always be, “GREAT!” It does not matter how exhausted or tired I was; the answer should be, “GREAT!”
For the next two miles of the marathon, I would yell at myself by asking and replying to myself that question. It may sound weird but that was what pushed me to go beyond my limits.
I finally saw the finish line which was like a dream came true, and this was when I increased my pace and passed many struggling runners. I did it! I did! That was what I told a paramedic professional who approached me and asked if I was okay.
I got my finisher medal and started taking pictures to document that moment which felt really amazing. I went to the rest area to get fluids to hydrate my body and do some stretches to reduce muscle cramps and prevent joint adhesions.
After taking cool pictures and having good food, I went to the nearest gym that offered their showers to the marathon runners. I went and I took a cold shower which would help to reduce muscle inflammation and hasten the recovery process.
The Richmond Marathon taught me how attitude could push my limits. How confident I became to do another marathon in 2018!
*My nickname was Bear.

Be Courageous

Courage is contagious.

It takes only one person/ voice to confront wrongdoers whose actions are uninhibited. If we engage with them physically or verbally, they will know they are not right, and they may be held accountable for their acts. If someone attacks you physically, fight back to the best of your capabilities. Shutting our mouths is our validation to their mistakes. For example, one time I worked in a clinic back home and a doctor was giving unnecessary treatments to earn more money. I told him this was wrong and that he should stop, but he didn’t like it so I changed my job. Be brave. As another example, the #metoo movement started with one voice and it spread all over the country. Now we have an unbeatable army of survivors of sexual assault.

Inside Out

Costume

My traditional Iraqi costume is comfortable and straightforward; it consists of a loose robe with long sleeves and a head cloth. I don’t wear the head cloth, but I put a turban on my head instead. You see people wear traditionally more often in rural areas. I used to wear them when I do shopping locally or meet with my neighbors but not for school or work.

I don’t think I will wear these clothes in the future because they are unavailable where I live, and I don’t like the idea of being part of a culture that does not represent me. We are unique in how we think, process our emotions, and communicate.

Be unique from the inside and not from the outside.